I went out for a girls’ night last night with one of my closest friends, and we got to talking about success.
It’s a hot topic in the line of work that I do, but often times - right after a client shares with me that one of her future goals is to be successful - I ask her how she will know when she is successful, and she is stumped.
I’ll be honest, beautiful, I’m still sorting out what that word means for me too.
Sure I have a beach cliff estate in Southern California in the back of my mind. That white Range Rover, and the first class travel + flights.
But is that truly how I want to measure my success?
No. It just doesn’t feel right in my body to do so.
I think we as women often attach our happiness to our self-perceived level of success - but “success” is always eluding us, therefore, so is a complete sense of happiness.
One of the reasons it’s constantly eluding us, is because we have not actually taken the time to define what success really and truly is for ourselves.
Another is that, if and when we reach that success marker - it’s awesome for a millisecond before it’s not good enough anymore. We want more. Bigger. Better. Shinier.
One more - is that often we attach success to outward sources of validation. How big and beautiful is our home? How new is our car? What designer is our handbag? How many new clients did we create this month? Have we hit that 6 figure mark yet? - All of these things ARE wonderful and YES we should enjoy all the worldly pleasures we can, as long as we are not attaching our sense of happiness and self-worth to them.
After sharing a deep and meaningful conversation with my beautiful friend in a trendy Saturday night restaurant, it got my wheels spinning. And I realized finally how I desire to measure my own personal success;
1) Counting the number of lives I am positively affecting, not the number of dollars I’m making
2) How I get to spend - my time.
3) By the level of joy + fulfilment I feel within my body/mind/soul + life each day.
Let me be clear - I absolutely am running a business, and numbers/dollars are a part of that. I do set intentions and have clear goals. But they are not my #1 driving force (see above for those). But I have also released any guilt surrounding growing a large and financially successful business. Money is currency. Currency is connection. Money is a resource. Money allows for greater reach, to serve more people, to change more lives. Money and I are a team so together we have a far greater capacity to create numbers 1, 2 and 3.
What am I saying, gorgeous?
I’m saying if we combine positive self-care (filling our mind/body/soul cups) with being of genuine service to others from a place of joy - the OUTCOME will be money. And with that money, this beautiful cycle can continue, and continue to grow.
1+1= 2 (Self Love and Care + Being of Genuine Service to Others = ABUNDANCE in all forms)
The opposite being, striving for money, money, money as our #1 driver, at the cost of our self-care, joy and fulfillment, and at the cost of totally turning off people we could have been of service to with our needy energy.
(-1)+(-1) = (-2) ( Striving for money + Not paying attention to our own personal self-care = going backwards)
I’ll be the first to admit, I have been in that place of striving for money. I didn’t think I had what it took to follow my dreams as a Destination Wedding Photographer when I was 18, so my exact thought was “if I can’t do what I want, I’ll buy what I want” - So I went into finance and started making money. My #1 driving force was to make money.
And I was miserable.
So I started a business out of love and passion, I was willing to take a massive pay cut from mortgage broker to photographer if it meant I would be happy and doing something I love, spending my time doing something I enjoy.
But I was more successful (and far more easily, so) when I became a photographer.
And when I realized my deepest, most soul-vibrating purpose is to help other women gain clarity on their own purpose and create their own heart based business - doors have been SWINGING open to support me on this path.
And this is what I want for you.
I would love for you to define what success really and deeply means for you.
I would love for you to be in partnership with money, but be driven by your purpose.
I would love for you to experience radical self-love.
I would love for you to feel the joy in your life TODAY, and every day, just as it is today - while your journey continues to evolve.
I would love for you to feel successful, just as you are.
You are, beautiful.
Follow your heart always,