I was petrified. More afraid than I had ever been in my whole life...
When I finally decided that I wasn't going to wither away at my deskjob for the next 40 years praying for fridays, living for 1-2 week vacations, and dreading every single monday, and instead start making my strides towards becoming a full time destination wedding photographer...I realized there was a hefty price that had to be paid before I could live the life I was dreaming of.
The blinding fear of leaping into the unknown.
If I had a penny for every time a thought entered my mind trying to convince me to turn my ship away from my dreams and back into the safety of my current reality, I would already be a millionaire.
I asked the universe for answers, I begged for strength and courage and clarity. A sign that I was moving in the right direction...
And I received nothing.
I started wondering if maybe I had lost my mind. Having received no signs, perhaps I really should just practise being more grateful for the job I already had. But that just didn't sit right either.
I knew that I would much rather get to the end of my days knowing I tried and failed, than die never knowing what could have been.
Around this time in 2011, I asked a wedding photography mentor of mine from California how I would know when it was time to go full time with my dream business. As we sat in a Parisian cafe after a dream photoshoot outside the Eiffel Tower (at one of his international workshops) he told me 12 booked weddings was a good starting point.
Twelve it was!! I practised everything I had learned about the power of intention, the law of attraction, manifesting, taking action, goal setting, ANYTHING and everything that I thought would help. And when I had the 12 weddings, I would leave my job in my proverbial dust. I set a date for these 12 weddings to be booked by - May 30 2012. It was the day my mortgage broker license was set to expire (something we were set to renew every 2 years). And that on June 1 2012, I would officially be a full time wedding photographer.
I booked 6 weddings by Dec 30 2011, and wasn't sure how well that positioned me to book 6 more between then and that same summer for weddings, but I was still optimistic. After the Christmas and New Year's holidays, a few more weddings rolled in. By 5pm on May 30 2012, I had booked 11 weddings total. It was almost triple the number of weddings I had booked the year before (when I wasn't really serious about growing a business yet), and only one less than I wanted...but I was still kinda bummed...though trying my best to be grateful.
As I crawled into bed late that night, feeling a bit down that I had just ended a 6 year relationship with my company, co-workers that I loved and laughed with every day, cleared out my office, had no more stable income from this day forward, and missed my 12 wedding goal...I checked my email on my phone one last time around 11:45pm. And there it was.
My sign I had been waiting for.
A completed wedding agreement and retainer from wedding number 12...minutes before midnight on May 30, 2012.
It was then that I learned something.
The universe is not going to cradle me into my dreams. It is not going to hand them over to me on a silver platter while I stay nice and cozy inside my comfort zone. It is not going to give me big bright reassuring signs, extra money, extra time, and extra validation just so I can feel nice and easy taking my leap into my dreams and vision for my life. It does not work this way.
The universe waits to see who is willing to leap first...before the net appears. Who is committed versus interested. Who is willing to cannon ball into the pool for their dreams, and who is just sticking their toe in the water... Who is truly ready to soar....and THEN it will show you how to fly.
I learned that wings are reserved for the brave.
I had already committed to leaving my job long before I had 12 weddings booked. I gave 3 months notice, even when the owner of the company was entitled to have me leave that same day if he wanted to, 3 months before I was ready. I was shaking in my boots. But I did it anyway. This is the difference between who stays at a job that drains them for 45 years, and who discovers what its like to fly.
I learned being brave is not about being fearless. It is about feeling the fear, and doing it anyway.
Today I received an email from a client that was in complete disbelief of what had happened to her at work. You see, she had contacted me two months ago and was really interested in working with me to discover her true calling in life, and then create the steps and actions she would need in order to make it her new reality. But she didn't have the extra money just laying around to invest into herself and her dreams. She told me she was going to put all of her energy into manifesting it, and get back to me when it had happened for her.I shared with her what I have just shared with you.
That if we wait until we are ready, we will be waiting the rest of our lives.
She mustered the courage she needed to, and went for it.
Not even two months in, she is having breakthrough after breakthrough, and today found out she is receiving a surprise bonus at work that nearly covers the cost of her 3 months of life coaching.
Are you seeing the same pattern I am, beauty?
There are countless more examples I could give you, but I know you get the big picture.
Waiting for the net to appear first, waiting for the extra money to show up first, waiting for the extra time to manifest itself first...is the fastest way to kill your dreams, beauty. It is a one way ticket to letting the years slip through your fingers like grains of sand in an hourglass.
Because the truth is, you will never feel ready first. The time will never be perfect. The money won't come first, and neither will your comfort.
You have to go first.
What about you, beautiful?
Has there been a time you were afraid to do or try something, but you did it anyway? What was it, and how did it make you feel after you just finally went for it?
Often times the only thing awaiting us on the other side of fear, is exhilaration.
It happened again when I was considering making my monthly investment into my first ever life coach. I am an entrepreneur and never know what my income will be month to month, and at that point in the year, most everyone had now booked their weddings, so no additional income was scheduled to be coming in for a while. Needless to say, when my potential coach shared that if I wanted to work with him, I would be required to commit to a dollar amount that was more than my half of our mortgage payment each month, I was pretty hesitant about it if I am being perfectly honest with you. I didn't know much about life coaching or the power of it, and I had only ever met this person 59 minutes (over the phone) before debating this investment. Long story somewhat condensed, I knew it was the right move for me and my dreams, so even though it was totally oustide my comfort zone, and I had no idea how I would pay for it, I went for it.
Not two days later, I booked a fluke "coincidental" late wedding that would cover all 6 months of my life coaching.
I jumped first...the net appeared AFTER...again.
Six months later, I was living in my dream beach city in Southern California, starting my new dream business.
If you are ready to fly, beauty, show the universe you mean business. Take that first step. That leap of faith. What is one step you could take TODAY, that would begin to move you in a direction that excites your heart? Is it thinking of a name for your dream business? Is it searching for your domain name? Is it seeing if you could afford to work less at your day job so you have more time to work on your dreams? Is it trying a new exercise class? Inviting a new friend for coffee?? What is it?
Do it now. Do it today. Declare you are ready to fly.
And take ownership of your wings. They've been waiting for you.
Let's flock together, gorgeous.
Follow Your Heart Always,
PS - Two more spaces were taken today in my one-time-ever promo offer for Private Coaching. This means (at the time of writing this) only two spaces remain. Every second counts on a clock that's ticking beauty. How much more of your life are you willing to spend waiting to feel ready? For my birds of a feather, let's soar together....